More Christmas Tips from Winterdown Farm

With only days to go before the Green Green Grass Christmas Day Special (8pm on BBC1), Mrs. Cakeworthy and Bryan offer you the second installment of their holiday advice:

Mrs. Cakeworthy's Christmas Tips

"Hello my web dears, Mrs C here from Winterdown Farm to give you more of my much sought after and top secret Christmas tips:"

Tip 2: "Find your turkey often come out of the oven too dry? No problem! With the patented Cakeworthy gobble-juicer method your endless days of desicrapen turkey sandwiches on boxing day are a thing of the past! Simply take a gabble of pigs jibble-whips and strain then slowly over a nats wallop pounder. Grindle the turkey in a long sided clopwinch until you can meep the mazzles and smell the fadglings are on the turn."

Bryan's Guide to Dating at Christmas - parts 3 & 4

Rule number three: "Go to Midnight Mass. Always full of women. Mind you some of them may be a little on the older end of the scale ˆ but look on the bright side, they might have daughters."

Rule number two: "When down the pub try some special festive chat up lines like: Do you want a lift home on my sleigh? Nice baubles? Do you like stuffing?"

Good Luck and a very Merry Christmas

.... to be continued tomorrow.

Free Green Green Grass Christmas Ecards.