Green Green Grass Christmas Tips from Bryan and Mrs Cakeworthy

With only days to go before the Green Green Grass Christmas Day Special (8pm on BBC1), Mrs. Cakeworthy and Bryan offer you the first of their holiday advice:

Mrs. Cakeworthy's Christmas Tips

"Hello my web dears, Mrs C here from Winterdown Farm to give you the first of my much sought after and top secret Christmas tips:"

Tip 1: "Many people post their Christmas gifts to loved ones far away. This is such an unnecessary expense. To send parcels through the post for no cost whatsoever, all you have to do is tip one or two grundles to your local Muffwhacker, thus enabling a skiddlebrokerfls arm length for all parcels resulting in totally free postage! Aren't you kicking yourself that you didn't think of that?!"

Bryan's Guide to Dating at Christmas - parts 1 & 2

Rule number one: "Make sure you ask one of your Aunt's for some Brut talc to make yourself smell nice and fragrant. Typical eau de farmyard is fine for trips to the discothèque but at Christmas it's nice to try something more exotic."

Rule number two: "Pretend you are someone else. If you're at a party (or even if you are not) suggest a game of Blind Man's Bluff. During the game everyone gets to be blindfolded at some point so when it's the turn of the object of your desire then pretend to be someone else. Try being Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson or some such bloke. They're sophisticated sorts so they are bound to wear Brut or Old Spice."

Good Luck and Merry Christmas

.... to be continued tomorrow.

Free Green Green Grass Christmas Ecards.